Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

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So, I'm laying on the couch the other day, mindlessly flipping through the channels when I stumble across Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.  I absolutely loved this movie when I was a little kid!  I know that I've watched it since I got older, but I decided to go ahead and check it out again.  I wasn't disappointed.  

I don't care what anyone thinks, that movie is pure genius.  If you didn't like history as a kid, or even as an adult how can you argue with making it more interesting by going back in time and meeting Mr. The Kid, Socrates, Sigmund Freud Dude, Miss of Arc, Abraham Lincoln and the world's most bodacious barbarian, Genghis Kahn?  I mean, in a matter of a few hours Ted Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston Esquire went from only knowing that Caesar was a "solid dressing dude" to passing their history report with a 100%.  

When they tried to study by just getting out the book it went something like this:

Bill: Okay, Ted, George Washington. One: the father of our country.

Ted: Two: born on President's Day.

Bill: Three: the dollar-bill guy.

Ted: Bill, you ever made a mushroom out of his head? It's like, just like...

Bill: Ted. Alaska.

Ted: Okay. Um... Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick.

Bill: That's Captain Ahab, dude.

COMEDY GOLD!!!!!  Alright, now I know that not everyone thinks this movie is as awesome as I do, although I can't say I understand it.  I'm not sure what's not to like about Mr. Anderson/Neo/Johnny Utah/Johnny Mnemonic/Keanu Reeves and well, Bill S. Preston Esquire (I have no idea who that dude is, Alex Winter?  Perhaps?  I'm not looking it up)  traveling around in time via a phone booth that George Carlin brought them so that they can collect historical figures, bring them back to San Dimas, and pass their history report with a 100%, thereby securing the most excellent future that their band Wyld Stallyns has created that aligned the planets and brought peace on earth.  Plausible?  Yep.  Likely?  I assume so.  If anyone can bring peace on earth it's Ted Theodore Logan.  I thought it was excellent then.  I think it is excellent now.  

You know what else Ted did that was excellent.  No, I'm not going to talk about The Matrix.  Those movies were pretty good.  I kinda dug em.  They couldn't hold a candle to Point Break, though.  

I mean, you have Keanu and Swayze surfing around in the ocean, saying "bra" a lot, kind of arguing about that one chick from A League of Their Own, and robbing a few banks while donning president masks along the way.  What could be better you say?  Oh yeah, Keanu is really Special Agent Johnny Utah, and he's actually there to bust Swayze.  Throw in a little Gary Busey and you've got some high quality acting going on bra.

You know what?  Point Break is awesome, and so is Ted Theodore Logan, but in all actuality, he can't hold a candle to Swayze.  I mean, Thor, is the lead actor in the latest Red Dawn movie, and Swayze played that part a million times tougher thirty years ago.  I mean, then he was a bad dude in Roadhouse and Donnie Darko, showed his softer side in Dirty Dancing and Ghost.  Honestly, though, my favorite Swayze role, hands down, is that of Adrian, alongside Chris Farley's character Barney as Chippendale's dancers.  I've seen this SNL skit tons of times and it makes me literally lol every single time.  I'm laughing just looking at this picture.  I can't help myself.  Chris Farley always made me laugh.  I have to embed the video.

 

Man, I watched that video, and then a bunch of other Farley videos.  That guy was better than Ted and Jed (that was Swayze's name in Red Dawn).  With lines like "fat guy in a little coat" and "what'd you do!", not to mention "Living in a van!  Down by the river!"  Oh man.  I'm kinda bummed both these guys are dead now.  Huh.  

Anyway, while I was embedding video I decided to look up Alex Winter, and yes, his name is Alex Winter, and guess what I found out?  Bill and Ted 3 could start filming as early as this year!  The script is done.  Keanu and Alex are both in.  They have a director.  Excellent and most non-heinous!  Alright, so what's holding it back?  Ohhhhhhh, money.  They should start a kickstarter fund.  I mean, how much cash can it take to film a Bill and Ted Movie?   We can film it at my house and it'll still be awesome.  I've never directed a movie, but how hard can it be?  Alright, that's my next project.  Who has Keanu's phone number?  I need to shoot him a text.

 

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Posted on April 30, 2014 .